Or not, but here goes nothing.
There are a few commonly-cited reasons for not having sex before marriage. Some cite religion and tradition, and some say that they want to save themselves for that special person. I see merits in these points of views, and I can't argue against them, for they are, after all, point of views, and we each have our own. However, let's just take a few minutes to consider where these points of views may have originated from.
Now in the good (or bad) old days, there was no such thing as protection or pills or abortion. This meant that when you fuck a girl (or get fucked by a guy), you do so both literally and figuratively. You're not just having sex - you're also transferring diseases and more importantly, making a baby. We often take for granted the fact that biological function of sex is not to make us feel good, it's to produce another human being. And that's a pretty fucking big deal.
It's not just between you and the other person - the whole community is dragged into it, and your parents have to pay shit, and the village has to do stuff, and so on and so forth, and what if your baby grows up to be an asshole, and which school will he go to, and I can go on, but I won't because by now I'm pretty sure you get my point.
Over the years, thanks to our friends at Durex and whatever pharmaceutical companies make morning-after pills, this has become less of a worry. It's still a worry, don't get me wrong, but it has become SIGNIFICANTLY less so. To illustrate with cake, if you can have cake without getting really really fat, would you have cake every day? Most probably maybe.
Another thing that we also have to consider is that marriage simply doesn't unfold like how it used to. In the past (and to an extent, parts of the world today), people got married really young. Before their 20s. I'm 23 right now and marriage hasn't even crossed my mind. Even if I had a girlfriend, I don't think I'll be considering marriage in the next five years. At my most optimistic, I'll be getting married at 28. That's an awfully long time to wait...especially considering that sex is one of our prime urges as a species.
Now, I'm not a proponent of premarital sex. I don't even think it's something you can be a proponent of. All I'm trying to say, I guess, is that the nature of sex has changed and because of this, from the point of view of some people, premarital sex is just fine. And just for the sake of not-being-a-cop-out, let me state my position explicitly: I'm totally okay with it.
There is something romantic about holding out for that special person though, and if you choose to hold out until marriage, and if you find someone who's willing to do so as well, then good for you. If you find someone who is willing to do the same weird and nasty shit you're into, then good for you too.
And on that point: while premarital sex is okay by me, I'm not cool with the cavalier attitude some people have towards it. Some people forget that it takes two to clap, and they get so self-absorbed in fulfilling their own need, that they forget that another party is involved, and that person may not have the same emotional leaning, and it'll all end with somebody getting hurt real bad.
At the end of the day, sex is this weird, complicated, shitty, wonderful, sometimes logistically-difficult thing. It's a very big part of our lives, yet we can't speak very freely about it, because of certain social taboos. What's important to remember is that each one of us has our individual beliefs and attitudes towards it. We have to RESPECT them, and this is especially important when you're in a relationship and you find out that your attitudes aren't compatible. Relationships can fall apart or be made stronger by it; it all depends on the level of understanding between the pair.
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| Source: weheartit.com |
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