When things end, people are always very quick to ask us to move on, as if it's the easiest thing to do. Like putting down a really heavy stone. But it's not like that at all because the thing that's actually holding you back the most are the memories you shared and the feelings you felt when you were together with that person. Those things aren't physical things. They exist in our head, and in our heart, and that's what makes the process all the more difficult.
Moving on implies leaving something or someplace behind. But thing about memories and feelings is that we can't always control how they work. They might be triggered by random objects, phrases, places, songs, absolutely anything. And I think deep down, we actually like recalling the memories...even when it hurts us, because it's those memories which are proof that we are alive and that at that time, the relationship meant something.
And as such, we find ourselves pining for something that's already gone. We think to ourselves...maybe if we do this, or if we do that, or if we set ourselves on fire, or if we...the mind goes crazy with all the possibilities. It'll hit us when we least expect it. It'll hit us when we don't want it to...late at night when it's cold and you're all alone instead of being on the phone like you guys used to do.
The worst part is that the more emotionally-invested you are, the worst you feel about having that thing that you treasured more than anything else in the whole wide world being taken away from you.
You may think you've moved on...but have you really? I guess what does happen is that as time goes by, these pangs of longing hits you less and less, to the point where it becomes a fleeting memory; something that's happened to someone else. But then again, do you really want to move on? Deep down in your heart, do you want to forget?
Moving on is hard, and for me personally, sort of impossible, I guess. Maybe given more time. What you can do however, is to move forward. Moving forward means taking the necessary steps to get better. So something bad has happened - sure, you can mope about it and be sad. You can sit in the darkness, under your blanket, afraid and shaking. But at the end of the day, at some point, you've got to move forward. You'll relapse, definitely, but you move forward anyway. You move forward because that's the only thing you can do to get better. You trudge through the dark cave, searching for the damn exit, hoping for better things at the other side.
So feel free to not move on. "Moving on" is overrated; your memories aren't. Hold on to those memories and look back at them fondly. Learn your lessons and acknowledge that maybe you were at fault too. Grow up and become better. The person that you are now is because of the person that you were then, and the person that you will become will be because of the person that you are now. You will be shaped not by your past, but what you do in the present.
So move forward. Don't let anything stop you.
PS: I don't know whether I made sense. I was typing in a frenzy, and when I look back, I think I do, but I'm not sure. Either way, I hope that I connected to some of you who might be having problems of one sort or the other. I'm not some sort of expert on this topic, and I'm just drawing from my limited personal experience. Anyway, do check out the song I mentioned at the start because it's mind-blowingly good.
And as such, we find ourselves pining for something that's already gone. We think to ourselves...maybe if we do this, or if we do that, or if we set ourselves on fire, or if we...the mind goes crazy with all the possibilities. It'll hit us when we least expect it. It'll hit us when we don't want it to...late at night when it's cold and you're all alone instead of being on the phone like you guys used to do.
The worst part is that the more emotionally-invested you are, the worst you feel about having that thing that you treasured more than anything else in the whole wide world being taken away from you.
You may think you've moved on...but have you really? I guess what does happen is that as time goes by, these pangs of longing hits you less and less, to the point where it becomes a fleeting memory; something that's happened to someone else. But then again, do you really want to move on? Deep down in your heart, do you want to forget?
Moving on is hard, and for me personally, sort of impossible, I guess. Maybe given more time. What you can do however, is to move forward. Moving forward means taking the necessary steps to get better. So something bad has happened - sure, you can mope about it and be sad. You can sit in the darkness, under your blanket, afraid and shaking. But at the end of the day, at some point, you've got to move forward. You'll relapse, definitely, but you move forward anyway. You move forward because that's the only thing you can do to get better. You trudge through the dark cave, searching for the damn exit, hoping for better things at the other side.
So feel free to not move on. "Moving on" is overrated; your memories aren't. Hold on to those memories and look back at them fondly. Learn your lessons and acknowledge that maybe you were at fault too. Grow up and become better. The person that you are now is because of the person that you were then, and the person that you will become will be because of the person that you are now. You will be shaped not by your past, but what you do in the present.
So move forward. Don't let anything stop you.
PS: I don't know whether I made sense. I was typing in a frenzy, and when I look back, I think I do, but I'm not sure. Either way, I hope that I connected to some of you who might be having problems of one sort or the other. I'm not some sort of expert on this topic, and I'm just drawing from my limited personal experience. Anyway, do check out the song I mentioned at the start because it's mind-blowingly good.
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