Shit days, they come and go.

How can you believe in a God when bad things happen over and over again? Okay, good things happen too, and I'm really thankful for that, but how do you explain all that nasty-ass shit that happen? Some may say that it's there to test you, or to make you stronger, but isn't it possible to also believe the reverse, that we have an evil God, and his nature is to make our lives difficult, and he throws good things in our way to throw us off and give us false hope (only to crush us once more)?

Religion is a matter of faith, they say. I have no problems with having faith in real things; I have faith in my friends, I have faith in myself, I have faith in my family, I have faith in humanity, that we're inherently good. I have faith in real things, but to have faith in God seems far-fetched to me. But maybe that's because I don't feel him in my life. If you do, then good for you.

I'm having an especially bad day today. I fell sick and it's only my third day of work. It's highly possible that it's because of the new office environment - the dust or the fengshui perhaps weren't in my favour. I was sneezing the whole time, and I ran through packets after packets of tissue paper. My colleagues were really concerned. There wasn't much to do in the afternoon as my supervisor went off to meet some clients. She told me to go see the doctor. I did, and I got medicine and MC for 2 days. I can't use it though. I mean, it's only my first week. What kind of shitty impression would I be giving?

I fall sick way too easily, and I don't know why, and I hate it. It hasn't been much of a problem, because during school time, you can do things at your own pace. You can rest whenever, work whenever, take a day off when you want to. It doesn't work like this in the real world. If this keeps up, it's going to suck big time. Now, my body's aching, my eyes are watery and itchy and my nose is running like a broken tap. I'm missing my usual run, and I think I'll have to skip gym tomorrow morning. I feel unfit, like a piece of shit, consequently. I can't even rest properly because there's work to be done. Not internship work, just...work in general.

So there's that. And my internet connection is giving me problems again. It's been like that for the longest time actually, but it's been worst the past two days. Every other page I go to will show some sort of error, and I can't even load YouTube videos properly. The internet is...this wonderful thing. It's like Narnia. It's the window to the bigger world, and I feel like...with a a proper internet connection, I can conquer the world. I honestly do. With my internet connection like this, I feel like my arm has been severed right off. My frustration is off the charts. I punched walls and shit, it was bad. Now it's relatively stable, but if it breaks down again, I'm going to throw my laptop to the ground, jump at the pieces, burn them, and laugh maniacally, all before typing out a harshly-worded letter to Singtel.

My body is shitty, my internet is shitty, I can't work properly and the only reliable source of comfort are my books. I feel fat, and I really want to go for a run, but I can't. I really want to go to the web and be inspired by cool stuff, watch funny videos and be entertained for awhile before getting some stuff done, but I can't. Why do these things happen? Does somebody hate me out there? No. That's just how life is sometimes. There will be good days, there will be bad days.

Just don't make the terrible mistake of thinking that a bad day makes for a bad life. I hope I get better tomorrow. I hope the whole world gets better tomorrow. Peace. Love. Leave a comment if you want to do sex with me. Ignore that last sentence, that was the sickness typing.