Won't you stay?

Let's just hang here, okay? Me, and you if you're reading this. It's been a long day. I'm really tired. I feel like I should go out for a run, lose some of the fats I've accumulated over the past day. I get fatter very easily you see. It's bad, but what can I do? That's the hand I've been dealt with. I'm very tired though, and I just ate some really spicy chicken wings. My stomach is all fire and brimstone - if I go for a run, I might puke. That, and I'm tired too. I'm so damn tired right now.

It's only Monday. Gosh, it's only Monday. Actually, I don't really mind work. Work is when I'm most at ease. It's after work when things go crazy. I still have too many things on my mind, too many things that I want to do. I really do wish that there were more hours in the day. I'm rarely at ease, and when I am, it's temporary, and it's not real, in the sense that there is always something looming at the back of my mind, saying that I shouldn't be doing whatever I'm doing at that given moment. I'm here, but at the same time I'm not.

I'm starting to miss being plain relaxed. I wish that the things I had to do came easy to me...but it doesn't. Let's be frank, I'm not any good...yet. So in addition to actually getting things done, there's the painful step of pulling your body to the point where you're confident enough to get things done. Maybe I should just go and do it, but what if everything is all for naught plainly because I'm not at the stage where I'm ready. I'm terrible.

So what now? I don't know. I should just go to sleep. That might be the problem right there - insufficient sleep. Is rest all I need to solve all my problems? Will it give me the ability to fight on tomorrow, with renewed vigour? Or am I just looking for a way out of getting things done. Am I just lazy? Am I just plain old terrible? I'm fully aware that I'm sounding like the whiniest person in the world right now. The truth is that I am. I should change.

Okay, I'll leave here. I can't even blog properly. The days are passing me by. I'm not getting any closer to accomplishing any of the things I set out to accomplish. That's not cool.